drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
last night I used snow as a chaser
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
