so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
