Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it hurts more in the daytime
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
