ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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