More tranny stories later!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
