Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
