how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
