Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
