Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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