Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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