So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
