like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
