Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
