the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
