Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Buhtt sex?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
