Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is her dick bigger than yours?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
