you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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