Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
