Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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