But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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