I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
