yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
