i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
