i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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