My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
high people should be assigned attendants
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
