I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
