you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
