I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
