I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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