matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
