So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
