remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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