my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
True college students do jello shots in the library
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