I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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