You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
