Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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