This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
