he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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