The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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