went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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