When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
