Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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