I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
