Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
