Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
