Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
