Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
