i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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