Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
