I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
