His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
