I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
