Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize