Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
