I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
