my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize