God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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